After dropping our youngest child off at college several years ago, I was a mess of mixed up emotions--pride in my daughter's accomplishments, joy for her new adventure, but sadness for me. As my husband and I entered the house, now devoid of the daily hustle and bustle, I asked myself, "How can I love a house so much and hate it so much at the same time?" I loved it for all the memories and life that was lived there, a life that for years had revolved around our children—attending school events, managing extracurricular activities, and sharing countless family meals. But I found myself hating it in my first moments as an empty nester -- hating the emptiness, the quiet. I would walk past my children's rooms and wonder, "Should I redecorate their space? Will that help me cope and at the same time create a new grown up space for them to come home to?" (Spoiler alert: my son's room -- now a parent himself -- is STILL almost exactly as it was: completely dedicated to Pittsburgh sports. He wants it that way so we can brainwash his kids to be Pittsburgh fans😂. Photo at the end of this blog) I did end up refreshing my daughter's room to be more luxurious and grown up, and it was cathartic for me as well as fun for my daughter to finally get a queen bed!
This decision about whether to redecorate your child's room is more than just about changing décor; it’s about how you’re adjusting to your new role as an empty nester and what that space represents moving forward.
The Emotional Impact of Redecorating
Your child’s room is a time capsule of their growing years, filled with memories that tug at your heartstrings. The thought of redecorating might feel like erasing a part of their childhood, and it’s natural to feel a mix of emotions about it. However, it’s important to remember that redecorating doesn’t mean forgetting or moving on from those memories. Instead, it can be a way to create a space that evolves with your family’s needs while still honoring the past.
Before making any changes, take time to process your emotions. You might want to leave the room as is for a while until you’re ready to make a decision. There’s no rush—let yourself adjust to this new chapter in your own time.
Involving Your Child in the Decision
If your child plans to come home during breaks or summers, consider involving them in the conversation about redecorating. They may have opinions on what to keep, change, or update in their room. This can be a great opportunity to collaborate on a space that reflects who they are now, while still preserving some elements of their childhood.
On the other hand, if your child is excited about the idea of a room makeover or if they’re ready to fully embrace their college life, they might encourage you to go ahead with the changes. Involving them in the process can help them feel connected to home, even if the space looks different when they return.
Practical Considerations
Redecorating your child’s room can also be a practical decision. Perhaps you need the space for a home office, a guest room, or a hobby room. Transforming the room into a multifunctional space can add value to your home and enhance your daily life.
Before you start redecorating, consider how often your child will be coming home and what their needs will be when they do. If they’ll be home frequently, you might want to keep some elements that make them feel comfortable and welcome. If they’ll be visiting less often, you might have more freedom to repurpose the room for other uses.
Finding a Balance
If you’re torn between holding on to the past and embracing the future, consider finding a balance. You could update the room’s décor while keeping some sentimental items on display. For example, you could repaint the walls and add new furniture, but keep a shelf dedicated to their trophies, photos, or childhood mementos. This way, the room evolves while still holding onto the essence of your child’s presence.
Another option is to create a space that’s versatile. A daybed, for example, can serve as a seating area when not in use as a bed. A desk that once held schoolbooks can now become a workstation for you or a creative space for hobbies. This approach allows the room to serve multiple purposes without fully letting go of its original function.
Embracing the Change
Redecorating your child’s room can be a symbolic way to embrace this new chapter in your life as an empty nester. In addition, having a fun, creative project to work on can be very therapeutic and a great distraction. It’s a chance to make your home reflect the person you are now and the life you want to lead. Whether you choose to completely overhaul the space or make small changes, remember that this is your opportunity to create a home that supports your growth and happiness.
Conclusion: A Room for New Beginnings
Deciding whether to redecorate your child’s room is a deeply personal choice that depends on your emotional readiness, practical needs, and family dynamics. Whatever you decide, approach the process with an open heart and mind, knowing that it’s okay to cherish the past while also looking forward to the future. After all, this room, like your life, is ready for new beginnings.
(Well, I guess this room -- my son's room-- isn't quite ready for new beginnings😎)
